Agents are good people, not very much different from you and me. They’re overworked and must sift through a mountain of queries in their slushpiles each week. I’ve had good relations with many and have always appreciated their time. That having been said, there are those who operate under “Do as I say, not do as I do.” (To see the rest of this post, click “Read More" below.)
Agents frequently list the following advice in their directory listings: “Proofread for grammar. Queries with major errors will either be thrown away or returned immediately.” Okay, but here are some replies I’ve received from major A-list agents in the Big Apple over the years, agents who have rightfully demanded perfect grammar. They are reproduced exactly as they were written and printed.
“Dear Author,
Thanks for the opportunity to read your work, unfortunately it is not quit right for out list. We encourage you to submit to other agencies since tastes vary considerably, best of luck.”
I’ll take run-ons and typos for $500, Alex.
“Dear ________,
Thanks you for sending us a copy of you’re work for us too read. Regrettably it is not right for us.
Sincerely,
_______________”
Spelling and repetitous phrasing for $200, Alex.
“Dear Author,
We appreciate you thinking of our agency, but we has a full list at present. Best of luck in your publishing endeavors.”
I’ll takes subject-verb agreement for $1,000, Alex.
How hard is it to proofread a two-line form rejection slip? Agents are human, but if they can’t walk the walk, don’t talk the talk. It’s hypocritical.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Agents We Love to Hate, Part I
Posted by Billy at 11:22 AM
Labels: agents, form rejection letters, grammatical mistakes
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6 comments:
I've gotten similar rejections, not only from agents but also from editors at magazines to whom I've submitted stories. Scary. Good post for the week before Halloween.
Thanks, Shauna. What I posted is only the tip of the iceberg. I"m going to do an entire series on agents who don't act in a professional manner and violate the advice they give in their own books on "approaching an agent."
I have had some real bad luck with agents Billy. So rude! Some of them didn't even bother to read at all. I'm sure there are good ones too, but I have not encountered one yet.
Monique, in later installments of this series, I'm going to have a lot to say about agents who solicit submissions and then decline to return the material even if a SASE is included. I'm as busy as they are--and as important in the great scheme of things--so I think they have some accountability issues.
What a hoot William - makes one wonder doesn't it. I think a lot of the problem is as you stated; they're overworked. So many nowadays want to be published with all sorts of rather poor writing and it must take them ages to get through it all. However that is not an excuse for typos or rudeness for there are very talented writers who would think twice about submitting ever again to agents like these.
Janice, no doubt these people are overworked, but many don't even bother to return requested book manuscripts that take fifteen bucks to mail--and they soemtimes hold them for over a year. I've got lots more horror stories about agents, although as I say, I've dealt with some really great ones who are the salt of the earth.
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