Joe the Plumber vs. the Integrity of Language

Joe the Plumber has a book deal, according to Publishers Weekly. Called Fighting for the American Dream, the book will be published by PearlGate Publishing according to Huffingtonpost.com. Okay, let’s play a version of “What’s Wrong with This Picture” as seen in Children’s Highlights Magazine. (To see the rest of this post, click on “Read More” below.)



There are hard-working writers out there who can actually write their own books. Joe’s not one of them, and I wouldn’t ghostwrite his book for a gazillion dollars because he’s a jerk. Before you fight for the American Dream, how about doing the following, Joe: 1) give your correct name, which is Sam; 2) get a license before you call yourself a plumber; 3) pay your delinquent taxes before you start your holier-than-thou rants about socialism, the definition of which is probably far beyond your comprehension; 4) and don’t lie about wanting to buy a business when you A) have no intention of doing so, and B) don’t have the money. You’re fighting for the American Dream? Exactly what dream is that, Joe? Scamming the American public?

Joe’s gaming the system, thanks to the GOP ticket and PearlGate. Looking for that fifteen minutes of fame. But let’s not mince words: He’s a prostitute. And people who pay for prostitutes are called “johns.” That makes PearlGate Publishing a john. Yeah, I know that publishers acquire the latest fad or celeb all the time. Money, money, money. But I find it particularly odious that PearlGate is pimping out Joe by making a liar and a fraud into an American hero.

Obama told Joe on the rope-line while campaigning that he wanted to “spread the wealth,” meaning that he wished to make adjustments in the Progressive Tax Code, which has existed since 1916. All legislation (and not just overtly monetary legislation) redistributes wealth in some way, shape, or form. (George W. redistributed money by tax breaks for upper-income Americans.) You may like or dislike tax cuts for the middle class, but it’s called legislation and government, not socialism.

But we in America have become so unable to understand the connotation and context of words that an entire movement can gain momentum based on pure ignorance of language (not to mention History 101). And publishers, the alleged guardians of the printed word, are willing to play upon that ignorance while sending out rejection slips to legitimate authors with great books that seek to ennoble mankind through learned discourse and sound ideas.

So thanks, PearlGate, for selling us all down the river another few miles as our country and culture tries to find its bearings at a watershed moment in American history, one that demands honesty and integrity. In this story, the written word is the big loser of the day.