The Ultimate List of Writing Tips You'll Never Find in a How-to Book: Part 1

The following is a part of a much longer list of tips I compiled while teaching writing at universities for twenty years (I started young!). While many tips are eccentric or intentionally humorous, all are tendered as serious ways to tap into the well of creativity. This will be the first in a series. To read the list, click on “Read More” below.




1) When you get a rejection slip, correct it for errors in grammar, spelling and usage. It will boost your ego.

2) Make up fifty words that don’t exist—but should.

3) Pay attention to your thoughts while you shave, stand in line, clean fish, etc. You can learn more from life than reading books on creating believable plots and interesting characters.

4) Buy a how-to book and throw darts at it so you don’t take rules too seriously.

5) Talk back to the people on TV (preferably when no one else is in the house). This will give you attitude, first cousin to narrative style.

6) Turn the sound off altogether on TV and make up your own dialogue.

7) Always record or photograph graffiti. It will give you insight into the human psyche.

8) Write stream of consciousness frequently and see if it turns into something.

9) Listen to a string quartet and follow a single instrument all the way through. It develops focus and teaches you how to handle subplots.

10) Listen to old people. Don’t write down what they’re saying. Just listen.

11) Attend a political rally at campaign headquarters. Observe the foolish hats, buttons, slogans, and drunken behavior. You will learn how to write satire.

12) Make a graffiti board in your house, a big one with tear-off pages. Scribble meaningless phrases when the spirit moves you. Writing “Marie wears neon underwear” is a lot more interesting than writing a journal entry about the failings of your spouse, boss, etc.

13) Ponder human nature while looking at the pages of Gray’s Anatomy.

14) Smile and wave to everyone you meet. You’ll soon learn that the world is divided into optimism and grave suspicion. This may help you decide genre, narrative voice, POV, and theme.

15) Write, “I am a great writer” 100 times. (Turning the pages into a nun is optional.) If you don’t believe in your talent, who else will?

16) Collect one piece of junk a week and write about it.

17) Go to yard sales and observe the dregs of other people’s lives.

18) Listen to conversation coming from nearby tables at restaurants.

19) Watch Marx Brothers movies when you get writers block and think you don’t understand plotting.

20) Write in a different genre once in a while to exercise the right side of your brain.

21) Read Publexicon frequently to receive more tips and learn the wit and wisdom of William Hammett, who can trace his genealogy to England, circa 1248, where his earliest ancestor was a village idiot. (I’m not making this up.)

22) Learn to cook an entire meal. It will teach you how to handle subplots.

23) Study old black and white historical photographs. They are evocative and filled with intriguing detail for which you must supply motive, plot, etc.

24) Write longhand occasionally. It will put you in touch with the language in a new and dynamic way, connecting your brain directly with the words.

25) Write a story every day in five sentences or less. It will teach you what needs to be said and what doesn’t.